Flash Mildew, Magician and Soulless Bottom Feeder

Throw-out Cards

Earlier in this century, many magicians would, as a part of their show, demonstrate their prowess at card scaling, where special publicity cards about the size of playing cards would be thrown Frisbee-like out into the audience. Some magi became quite well known for being able to skim cards out to the furthest corners of even the largest auditorium.

Until very recently, Flash Mildew used custom printed throw-out cards in each of his performances. The cards had Mr. Mildew's image printed on one side, and Flash reduced his costs by renting out advertising space on the back to local merchants of high standard. The cards in my collection are from an appearance in Amarillo, and feature ads from three bail bondsmen, a massage parlor, and a while-you-wait shoe repair shop.

Mr. Mildew recently discontinued this practice after an unfortunate incident in Fresno. He was opening for the heavy metal band "Death Puke". The surly crowd, impatient for the main act to start attached razor blades, broken glass, and lit cigarettes to the throw-out cards before sailing them back at the stage. Flash was incensed. Armed only with the plastic tube from his trusty "Strat-o-sphere", he plunged into the crowd and was promptly beaten to a pulp.

The value of the cards has skyrocketed since the incident. I was recently offered $0.72 per ton. I'm holding out for $0.84.